Derek Shanahan

My bus rolled lazily down the hill towards downtown with a crest of sunshine peeking over the city’s leering mountains gathering an unusually light crowd of early commuters and the usual mix of destitutes making their way to the intersection of Main and Hastings, effectively an open air flea market of drugs and addiction in full swing day and night.

The intersection is, quite frankly, total mayhem…no matter it be eight in morning or ten at night, and it serves as as stark reminder that the bottom is quite a lot further down the rabbit hole than anything I’ll ever experience.

It’s a useful reminder, actually.

The bus opened its doors at that corner and the addicts jumped off eagerly, as always. I gazed out at a decrepedly thin Asian man crouched against the building facing me, happily handing single cigarettes to two young men and a woman huddled around him. The two young men moved off and the women, in a loose yellow v-neck, torn jeans, and supported by one of those four-legged walkers, swayed back and forth while chatting and stashing her smoke in a back pocket.  She was war-torn, to the point at which you could almost believe that the walker wasn’t even medically related; it was simply that balance is a luxury no longer afforded to someone who has run that many chemicals through themselves.

When you see this section of town, you’ll understand that I thought very little of the scene.

My day was hectic, as a meeting-filled day tends to be.  When building a web product it’s hard to feel productive unless you’re nestled up to your computer.  For good or for bad I feel a deep sense of urgency about our website and product right now so my senses are probably heightened a bit, and I get tense when I’m not feeling as if I’m getting shit done.

As I moved from coffee with an exciting new prospective hire to strategy planning with Anthony  I felt as if the productive part of my day was rapidly escaping me.

It’s ludicrous, really, as we’re moving a lot of people and pieces towards our goals and improved product, but hey, it’s how I felt. I think anyone who’s faced important deadlines can relate to the way a priority list can loom in the corner pointing at you like the Evil Monkey in Chris’ closet.

I settled into the early evening catching up on email and Foodtree code development, hesitant to leave because it felt as if the day had just gotten started.  A poker game was beginning in the conference room next to our kitchen and entrepreneurs wandered the floor looking for a few more last minute players.  The sun, now setting, crawled at length across the floor, and a team building an application for the hockey community gathered around a whiteboard discussing revenue models.

This is the stuff of ideas in motion.

My focus was off and it was getting late, and I knew I should reengage my priority list at home.

I boarded my bus and sat with a blank stare out the window, mentally reshuffling work stuff with my jaw clenched tight.  Zoned, but still mentally locked into things that need doing.

Three busstops later I snapped into focus as a yellow streak caught my eye, and there she was.

The woman from twelve hours earlier was hobbling across the street out my window, a few blocks from where I’d noticed her before.  She was just moving down the sidewalk…her walker, then a step…deliberate.  Awkward and slow. She hunched forward and to the side…

The struggle of it…of a block-long stretch of sidewalk, seemed almost unfair.

What must her day have been like?

I imagined a day of detachment and pain, craving and confusion. Alleys and sidewalks. Bartering and hustling and a never-ending quest for self-destruction.

A city block transformed into a mile long  journey.

A day that seemed to have ended before it began suddenly became endless, right before my very eyes.

Earlier this week I had a dear friend ask me if I was depressed.

Word around town was of concern, and surprisingly informed by the tone of my blog posts this month, of which I think there are a grand total of two.

I laughed and immediately realized that I’d made a lot of the idea that I don’t have friends in Vancouver, which is both untrue and a sentiment that I now realize is hard to address flippantly, especially when you have people who actually use your blog to try and get some insight into what the hell your life is like on the other side of the continent.

Depressed?  No.

Not at all, actually.

It was almost funny and jolting to have that be one of the reasons he’d hoped to connect on Skype because I’d literally been walking home from work and thinking about how many amazing people I’ve met in this city, and how the way they are amazing is in the way some people go well beyond themselves to make others feel welcome.  The way people have the capacity to see beyond themselves and notice you.

People surprise you, and if you stop for a second you’ll realize it happens often.

Vancouver is gorgeous right now, like an island paradise that’s unaware of anything but a state of perfectness.  Warm, breezy air, clear turquoise skies draped over ragged mountains rising up in the glory of nature’s prowess.

You can see the world in a square mile here, between the water and the sky.

I’m not depressed, and in fact I’m quite happy, and I’m overcome with an ambition…an urgency…and if I had a wish it would be that the inertia subside a bit and let me sit in the sun and compose my thoughts more regularly.

Things are good.  Things kind of kick ass, honestly.

How about you?

That’s not a rhetorical question.

This is funny.

I’m alone the other night, which isn’t all that weird, considering I’ve lived in this city for six months and we all know that once you hit thirty it’s different to make new friends. If you’re in Vancouver and I’ve met you please don’t take that to mean I don’t absolutely love you all. Everyone here is really, really incredible.

But in Chicago, with the lifelong network, I had way too many options every weekend night. I look back and thank myself for prioritizing my true friends, because I now appreciate how important they are.

So anyway, I’m alone.

I’m in my new apartment, and the walls are almost repainted…which is to say that they’re in that state between being done and having the edges done.

I’d bought myself a six pack of PBR, which in Canada seems to be extremely under-appreciated, by the way, considering PBR’s general level of greatness and the love you find for it in Chicago.  Anyway.

I decide I’ll finish the paint job.

An hour later, I’m celebrating the completion of half the kitchen out behind the apartment, in a residential alley that’s relatively secluded. I’m drinking a PBR, and I’m smoking a cigarette (I know, I know).

In Vancouver, the nights are long and the sky is pretty magical at 10pm; all kinds of blues and yellow.

Pinks and reds.

Sexy.

I totally zone out, and a plane flies low over the city as I watch its three yellow lights cut through the painting that is Vancouver’s post-sunset.

Zoned. Out.

I’m kind of lazily standing there, one knee cocked, looking kind of perplexed.

Up the alley comes a minivan, slowing cruising towards a house down the block. I barely notice.

As it rolls by I became aware of myself…I thought immediately about what the middle aged guy driving must have thought when he saw me.

Check out what I was wearing.

I’m standing there in flip flops and fucking swim trunks.

Drinking a PBR and smoking a cigarette.

Sunburned to a crisp. Bright red.

Oh, and those swim trunks? They’re bright florescent orange.

The t-shirt I’m wearing?

It’s brighter, more florescent orange.

You know what that t-shirt says?

BLOGGABLE.

It’s a funny thing, money.

I mean, I really wouldn’t know at the moment, as I’ve poured it into businesses for two years now with largely no tangible return, but that’s not really what this post is about.

A few years back I was making a lot of money.  Six figures…I didn’t even realize it until I got my tax statements at the end of the year.  It’d been a fun year, obviously, and I’d even paid down all my debt.

Yeah, all of it.

That lasted like a split second.

Having been there, though, isn’t something I’ll ever forget.

I always knew going into business for myself was risky, but I wasn’t quite prepared for the total collapse of our financial markets and the ensuing stagnation it brought the industry I was in (my LinkedIn is here).  Debt mounted, and here I am today with some very tight times.  Bootstrapping a tech startup to boot.

Point is, the last two years, financially, have really honestly been nothing but total disaster for me, and the reality is that something like that spills over into the lives of the people who care about you.

My family is truly amazing.  The support they’ve given me and continue to give me is nothing short of incredible, and as someone who’s not really built to ask for help, the definition of the word generosity has been redefined for me.  I’m very, very lucky.

It’s so beyond what I deserve or expect that it blow my mind, and probably deserves quite a lot more attention on this blog.

My friends, though, have proven in the most tangible ways that our relationships really transcend the realities of the world and have their foundation in the purest form of friendship and support.  They’ve literally stepped up for me.  Understood (without judgement, I might add) that I’d taken risks that weren’t working out.  Risks that in some ways affected them, which isn’t always a risk you have every right to take.

It’s funny, because a lot of people are writing about money this week, and the way friends have played a role in their spending or thoughts around finances.

I can’t think of anything beyond the way that money’s been largely a negative for me for more than two years straight, and my friends have all circled around me and lifted me up without even flinching.

You guys all know who you are, and I know it’s not easy to step up for friends when it’s inconvenient.  I know it’s fifty times harder when money’s involved.  I know I owe you, deeply and in ways I could probably never repay you.

I just hope you never doubt how much it’s meant to me.

How my well being is directly related to you…my friends and my family.

I work my ass off, every day, because of you.

I’m forever grateful.

A year ago today, forty bloggers got together in Chicago.

It was kind of a coming out party for 20 Something Bloggers.

Months and months earlier, the idea that bloggers who’d been hanging out together online should get together in real life surfaced and took hold.  I was in Chicago and we (along with a number of other major cities) began organizing meetups.  By June we all knew each other, and we made up a core for the Ultimate Meetup.

But the weekend involved a lot of newbies, and it involved people from numerous states, and it even involved one blogger flying in last minute on a whim.

That meetup was the reason I took the reins on 20 Something Bloggers, something I’ve never regretted.  It showed me the heart of a community that’s really changed people’s lives; something I’m proud to be involved in and continuously proud to talk about.

Here’s the crazy part.

That same weekend, Anthony Nicalo was gracious enough to host a wine tasting for the bloggers in town to promote his artisan wine company Farmstead Wines.

He hung out with us for the rest of that afternoon and evening, and at one point got a look in his eye and said, “so I’ve got a business idea”.

“Oh yeah?  Tell me.”

He told me, and when he was done I said, “wow…so how can I help?”

“Well…I need a co-founder.”

We had lunch forty eight hours late in River North, a block from my old office, shrouded in sunlight and talking tech and food.

That’s the day I got involved in what would become Foodtree.

Time is kind of nuts, right?

I’m not sure if I mentioned that Chalise is getting married.

I wrote this a while back while I was living in Wicker Park and I was running the neighborhood with Chalise (hat tip to Tankboy, who’s kind of the area’s OG).

Chalise is the most wonderful woman I know that I don’t technically share blood with.  The person who’s heart beats at the very same pace as mine.  The girl who set the bar for love in my life, because true love is mostly about friendship.

I watched her life of love firsthand.  I knew most of the men involved, and I saw her ride the roller coaster we all ride as we navigate the labrynth of our heart’s quest for a twin.  I saw the ups and downs.

In every way I always gave Chalise the room she needed to figure out who she wanted to be.  Our friendship was sort of about that…in college years would pass and we’d pick up like it was yesterday.

That was the thing; even when we were teenagers she was different.  She was edgy and confident and averse to anything but her will.  She is probably the reason I have ever felt the confidence to just trust my gut in the face of the most insane things it suggested.  Over and over and over again I’ve heard people say things like “everyone wishes they were Chalise” when what they meant was “everyone wishes they had an intimate relationship with ignoring their inhibition and plunging into life to see what actually happens”.

That kind of life is one wrought with uncertainty and challenges, and especially when it comes to falling in love with someone.  Men had the hardest time trusting their connection to her.  They wanted evidence of it, often, and as such found themselves devoid of the confidence that caught her eye in the first place.

Ironically, I saw men doubting her.  One of the most loyal and genuine people I have ever known in my life.

That may sound as if my best friend made boys of men, but those men took from her the one thing she needed; someone who could let her truly explore the world and her place in it.

Yeah, some decent guys lost a girl they thought they loved.  They probably did love, actually.

But I saw her as a victim too.

She loved hard and fast and she brings more passion to a conversation about nothing than world leaders bring to battle.  Hers was never a mission of exploitation, and she tried harder and harder to reason with the way relationships turned into less than they should have been.  She wanted them to work and she tried and tried and tried.

Until the day her sister got married, and she found him.

I think the day I met him, I knew it was over.

The girl is now everything she was meant to be.  Fully confident to be herself and stupidly in love with someone who knows it.

In love with someone who does his life too.  Someon who walks outside every day and does it his way.

This weekend is the joint bachelor/bachelorette party that Chalise and Ghasson are throwing in the mountains near Denver, Colorado, and if there was one place on Earth I could put myself right now, that’s where it would be.

I’m a huge soccer fan.

I’m moreso, admittedly, every four years when the Cup rolls around.

In between I have a hard time following leagues that aren’t on the continent I live on, and as such can’t claim to be a rabid supporter year round.

I kind of can’t think of much else during the Cup though; I feel a nested responsibility to witness the 20 or so World Cups that will occur during my lifetime (assuming I make it that long, obviously).  There simply isn’t another sporting event that comes even close to being what I want out of a sporting event.

Soccer’s a game that people have a hard time with, especially in America.

Okay, only in America.

Everyone else seems to get it.

Anyway, I don’t have a problem with that.  I kind of loved being a soccer player because it was like being in on something that everyone else might eventually realize.  Growing up the football team and the basketball team competed over who was cooler.  The baseball team just loved themselves enough for all of us.

The soccer guys didn’t really care; in the Midwest you’re in the world that got soccer last.  They grew up on baseball.  They go nuts for college football.

Then every four years the World Cup happened and everyone talked about soccer for four weeks.  It even rolled through the US and everyone wondered if the sport would take over.

At which point the professional league in this country expanded enough to nearly kill itself.

Because I was playing, I saw what everyone around the world sees when they live and breath and dream soccer year in a year out.

A game anyone could play.  A game happening in ghettos in Brazil with bare feet and balls of cloth, which fueled one of the most beautiful versions of the game ever known.

A game so demanding of body and mind that a goal matter enough to be remembered forever.

Forever.

A game that’s spawned war and stopped wars.  A game that entertains and influences…draws loyalty lines and brings enemies across them.

A legion of support that so rarely happens in other sports; something so far from entertainment that you almost wouldn’t recognize it as even fun.  Support for corners of the soccer world looks more a lifestyle than anything else.

And  then you get the World Cup; the largest athletic stage this planet has ever known.

Everything truly beautiful, ugly, friendly and hateful about a game I consider at its core to be the closest competition gets to illustrating humanity.

Today was one of those days that makes the three and half years I spend waiting for the next World Cup worth it.

As a lot of you know music inspires me.

It does that in the same way that writing, for me, is inspiring.

There’s a shared experience when you really sit down and read something that someone else wrote.  That someone else wrote thinking you’d be out there reading it.  Not knowing much about you, but trying to share an experience with you or to share an emotion with you.

Music lyrics work the same way, and I think a lot of great music is as much about the lyrics and their delivery as it is the playing of an instrument.  The greatest songs sound like an amazingly deep conversation.  The connection is everything.

These past two years I’ve really tried to notice music, and that was obviously inspired by the mixtapes and now the daily tunes.  I’m hunting music that I think is worth listening to, and sharing it to whomever’s interested in the songs that pass through my weird and admittedly undefined fiter.

When you’re always out there looking for music, you really start to appreciate how hard it is to get your music heard in this world.

How much really great music never makes it out of the bedroom, essentially.

And how sometimes really great music made in bedrooms can instantly change people’s l ives.

Graffiti6 Made A Shout Out Video For Me! from dshan on Vimeo.

Some of the stuff I’ve heard lately, really stands out.  I think The National’s new album will win more than one Grammy.  I’m less confident about this, but I think Eminem’s new release could restore his spot at the top of the rap game, and get a Grammy nomination.

Who really knows, I suppose.

But I do think the band in that video, Graffiti6, has the potential to blow up in a major way.

Yeah, they made that for me to thank me for sharing their totally sweet track, Staring At The Sun.  I felt that way before they made the video.  Promise.

How cool is that?

This makes me very, very happy.

Hey everyone!

We’re excited to announce a video blog event that we hope you’ll all participate in, so we can see your lovely faces and hear from you in person. We’ve had a number of Vlog Days over the last two years, and each has brought with it some incredibly fun, often funny videos, and it always proves to be a unique experience because as bloggers we aren’t often putting ourselves on video.

Tamar Kaprelian!

The details on participating are below, but without further adieu we’re happy to introduce you to Tamar Kaprelian, a 23 year old singer who’s just released her debut album, called Sinner or a Saint, available on iTunes here. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter as well. She got wind of 20SB and wanted to connect, so she’s here to launch this event and offer five lucky winners a signed copy of her album!

From Tamar:

The Details

1. Put together a video post about an experience you consider “A New Day“, and post it to your own blog.
2. Before midnight (PST) on September 9th embed your video on 20SB’s Video page by dropping your embed code into the box on this page. YouTube, Vimeo, and Hulu, as well as any video embed code should work. It’s super simple.
3. Make sure you tag the video with “new day” to be considered for the prizes!
4. You can see other entires at this link, or by searching 20SB Videos for “new day“.

Tell us about your New Day!

We’ll use a twitter hashtag #20sbnewday to follow tweets about this event, so tag your tweets! Don’t forget to check out Tamar Kaprelian’s new album, and show a fellow 20 something some love!

The following story was originally posted on Dry As Toast, a blog written by community member Dorkys.  We asked her if we could re-post it here, because it was so heartwarming. It was exciting for us that two people had met through the network…are there others?  Let us know if there are more 20SB-inspired love stories!

During our California weekend, A.’s family kept asking us how he and I met and I realized that I never really went into detail on that here. Sure I quickly mentioned him after attending a NYC meet-up for 20 Something Bloggers at Fat Cat back in December, but did you know that I was thisclose to walking out before A. came up to me?

I headed to the bar without a clue as to what anyone else looked like. I’d left a comment on the meet-up thread telling the other attendees to look out for a short curly-haired chick with a green jacket and hoped someone would recognize me. Only I get to the place and it’s unbelievable crowded. So after making a couple rounds, beer in hand, and even daring to ask one group if they were a part of 20SB (yeah, um, they weren’t), I sat at the bar, wishing I could e-mail the only person who knew I’d be there and feeling like a total loser cause I sure as hell wasn’t going to ask anymore people if they were part of some social network for nerds. “I’ll give this 10 more minutes and then I’m out,” I thought.

And there I sat trying to look super cool while forcing myself to drink a giant glass of nasty beer when this tall, thin, geeky-looking guy came up to me and asked, “Are you here for the 20SB meet-up?”

“OMG YES!! THANK GOD!”

Ok, in my defense, I was sitting ALONE at a bar where I knew NO ONE for like, I dunno, 15 whole minutes! This was my salvation right here. Turns out the man recognized me, but we weren’t able to recognize anybody else who attended that night (although A. could have totally lied just so he could have me to himself, that sneaky trickster) so we spent the entire time chatting it up about an endless stream of randomness and having a great time. I only wanted to leave when I realized it was getting harder to keep my eyes open. So we took the train together where I quipped, “Damn kid, you’re mad tall,” exchanged e-mails and took off running from there. We’d e-mail back-and-forth for hours and it took less than three days for me to realize that this guy was going to be trouble. A very good kind of trouble.

So that’s our story. What’s yours? How did you meet your current significant other? Juicy stories from the past are also welcome

The Votes Are In

You all voted this month to make Amber of Nostomanic the Featured Blogger for August!

Head on over to the front page of 20SB to check it out!!!

You can friend her on the network at her profile page here.  Follow her on twitter here.

Like a 7-layer burrito, I have 7 layers. The first, outermost layer is sunshine. The second is Star Wars. The third is a 7-layer burrito. The fourth is a love of koalas/money/Dick Van Dyke. Layers five and six, I don’t want talk about. Finally, layer seven is friendship…it’s also where I store my cheetos, which I’m more than willing to share with you. If you want to learn more “About Me,” watch the movie “Die Hard.”

The 20SB Featured Bloggers are voted by their peers every month. Has your favorite blogger not yet been featured? Then vote for them here!

We have our winners!

First, though, we want to thank everyone who participated in the Blog Carnival: Friends & Money.  The content was really, really great and made choosing winners very difficult.  After both our team and the team at Schwab looked over everyone’s stuff submissions, we arrived at a list of ourselected five winners who will all each receive $100 for doing such a great job!

And The Winners Are…

We Hate You Love Us: http://wehateyouloveus.blogspot.com/2010/06/20sb-blog-carnival-friends-and-money.html
Nicole (via Stratejoy): http://www.stratejoy.com/2010/06/the-60-pot-of-tea/
Renee: http://bellerenee.wordpress.com/2010/06/29/frugal-frannie
Amy: http://justatitch.com/rrrrrrrrandom/money-money-money-money-mo-nay
David: http://diamondkt.blogspot.com/2010/06/put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is.html

Thank you so much to everyone who entered.

If you didn’t win this go around-round, we’ll have more chances for cool prizes and stuff coming up soon, so don’t be discouraged!

We want to thank the team at Schwab for all their hard work in putting this Carnival on…they are way ahead of the game in trying to engage bloggers and social media communities when it comes to large companies.  We applaud their efforts to push into uncharted territory.  It isn’t always easy to make something like this happen at a big organization like theirs, and a few of their team members really pushed hard to get it done.

Bloggers!

We’re happy to announce the next Blog Carnival, called “Friends And Money“!

The Carnival’s an event that’s been running since our earliest days as a community.  If you’re new to 20SB, and a lot of you are, you can check out some of our past Carnivals by clicking here.

A Blog Carnival is a community-wide 20SB event in which we all post around the same topic. We’ll give you a few days to contemplate the topic and fit it into your posting schedule, and then we’ll circle back and highlight a couple of the posts that really stand out.  The whole thing happens over the course of about a week or so.

We’re happy to have a phenomenal partner working with us on this particular Carnival.  Charles Schwab Community Services got in touch with us when they heard about you guys because they hope to create positive change through financial education, philanthropy, and volunteerism.  In light of the recent trip to Vegas a lot of our members were lucky enough to take, we thought it’d be fun to share thoughts on our pocketbooks!  A bit of irony, yes!

Schwab Community Services is launching some pretty cool stuff this month, and they asked you to be a part of it.  We agreed to work with Schwab because they were so adamant about making an impact and building something people love, with no product motivations at all.  They aren’t selling anything. They focus on doing cool things, and helping as opposing to selling.

So here’s what they’re up to, and then we’ll get onto the Carnival (and cash prizes)…

A Check Up

They’ve got a new financial fitness check-up tool they’d like all of us to test drive, and have expressly asked for your feedback.  They launched the tool this week, and your thoughts are going right to the team behind the product.

Check it out to quickly determine where you stand financially, and be sure to include your score in your Carnival post so we can all compare! If you think it’s useful, tweet about it and use #$friends hashtag!

Money Mondays

The second new feature they’re rolling out is Money Mondays, a campaign of weekly money tips directed at young adults.  They’re hoping to produce useful content, answer relevant questions, and otherwise participate in the conversation around this stage of financial life.  They’ve launched a twitter account, @schwabmoneywise, too, so go follow them if you’re interested.

So, on to the fun stuff! We’re throwing a Carnival, and you’re invited!

Carnival: Friends And Money #$friends

Topic: We figure you have a lot in common with your friends or you wouldn’t be so close, but your bank accounts may not necessarily share common balances. No one wants to miss out on a good time or be the only one without trendy jeans, but can you always afford it?  What is the one thing you must splurge on and what could you do without? Or tell us about a time you were glad you tapped the ATM (or the time you wished you hadn’t).

How do your friends and others affect your choices regarding money?

How To Participate: Write a blog post about your take on the topic and mention your quiz score.  Be creative!  Be funny!  Share your perspective with all of us, and we’ll collect all the posts to see what our peers are saying and thinking.

Submit: In order to submit your post and be considered for a prize, please drop us a link to your post for consideration.  In order for your post to be considered for the carnival, it’s important that you avoid any discussion of specific investing strategies or tactics, or comments on individual stocks or other securities. Because we’re working with a financial institution, there are some regulatory requirements that obligate us to screen the posts to make sure they’re not inappropriate.  Thanks for understanding.

Prizes: Charles Schwab has been generous enough to offer five lucky bloggers a cash prize for writing fun and innovative content!  That’s right…five lucky bloggers will get $100 each, so get creative, heartfelt, or hilarious.  You all have unique voices, so we’ll do our best to highlight a few that really stand out.

Submission Deadline: You need to drop a link to your post here by midnight on June 30th.  We’ll announce winners within about a week.  All submissions will be reviewed by a team of our 20SB Team members and representatives from Schwab, and we’ll be looking for originality, creativity, and compelling pieces.

Looking forward to everyone’s post!  If’ you’re on twitter, use #$friends hashtag so we can find you!

If you have any questions at all, shoot us an email or find us on Twitter.

Below is an interview with on our Featured Bloggers, Liz from Its Unbeweavable.  Big thanks to Courtney for making these happen.

How did you find 20SB?  Has it changed you as a blogger?

I found 20SB through a badge on my twin sisters blog.  I think it has definitely changed me as a blogger-it made me aware that blogging is really about community and relationships-at least my blog is. It also made me feel more comfortable opening up because I’ve met the most supportive people-most of the bloggers I’ve met “in real life” were friendships started off of 20SB.

How long have you been blogging and why did you start?

I’ve been blogging since Feb 09, so definitely not that long compared to a lot of people.  Again, I blame my sister!  She started blogging January and I’ll never forget-one day she said “There are fashion bloggers you would LOVE. You need to check them out.”  So I did, and thought heyyy…I could do that. So I did.

You work in the fashion industry so you’re probably expected to have impeccable taste.   So what I really want to know is, what is the most embarrassing thing in your closet?

Yes, I am expected to…and I’m sure others might say “crocs” (shudder) or pajamas with the feet on them (cute)…but I’m going to have to go with the vibrator I won from one of my favorite 20SB girls…Lilu. I can’t use it because I’ll think of her, and that’s just awkward. Overshare?

How would you describe your signature hairstyle?

Haha…I definitely live by the saying the bigger the hair the closer to god…or happier the gal, which ever you prefer.  But if we’re talking signature-pretty, pretty princess hair.  OR I don’t brush it and throw it on top of my head in a bun. Either or.

Your “About Me” page says you left half your heart in London.  What’s that story?

Get lost for awhile. Wander around alone. Disconnect. Get a cupcake.

What is your musical guilty pleasure?

Sometimes I blast Biggies “Hypnotize” when I’m driving.  It’s the only song that can really drown out the bazillion thoughts I always have running around my mind.

Anything else?

You don’t have to include this, but I do want to say…Thank you for featuring a fashion blogger…although I spill my heart and soul out just as much as I show the shoes I love, it was really sweet of you guys, and very much appreciated.

This is an interview with Featured Blogger Ashley from Write To Reach.  Big thanks to Courtney for setting this up and chatting with Ashley for us!

I started blogging in May 2008.  I arrived on the blogging scene pretty late.  This is my first blog and I didn’t know much about blogging when I started.  But, I found 20sb within a couple weeks and then I had people actually reading my writing.  I was hooked instantly.  I started because I love to write, but it’s really the social aspect of blogging that keeps me most engaged.

I am the worst person to answer this question.  I’m not particularly good at talking myself up, but I love the space I’ve carved out on the internet to talk about all the things that interest me, from philosophy and theology to debt and writing and politics and pop culture. Blogging has helped me become more comfortable being myself, because of all the opportunities it’s given me to explore my interests and aspects of my personality, but I’ve always been introspective, so I’ve never really struggled with that.  The more amazing thing about blogging is that it’s made me realize just how many people can understand exactly what I’m going through.  The first time I wrote about my anxiety, I got this huge outpouring of support.  When I started blogging about my debt, I heard from so many people who were in the same position, but even my blog friends who are debt free have been with me, cheering me along as I work hard to dig myself out.

If you’d asked me this question a couple weeks ago, I could have avoided the obvious, but our nice weather has recently returned and I couldn’t be more excited. California has taken almost four years to win me over.  I’m from the Pacific Northwest and I’ve always been a sit inside and watch it rain kind of girl.  The near constant presence of the sun in California at first felt almost fake to me.  I moved down here for grad school, but otherwise, I probably would have remained in Washington or headed for the East Coast.  It’s taken me some time to find beauty in a landscape that isn’t green, but there’s just something that cannot be beat about walking outside to t-shirt weather when you get off work late on a March night.  I also love the particular city I live in and its proximity to LA where there are so many opportunities to see interesting people and things (and meet bloggers!).  My least favorite part of living here is that I’m 1,000 miles away from my family.

The marching program started at my high school when I was in my sophomore year, so it was asking a lot just to keep us all marching in time.  Marching band was not cool at my school, and it was even worse being in a marching band that couldn’t march.  One time we did this elaborate configuration on the field and we thought we’d done really well, but when we watched the tape back we just looked like a big blob moving around.  I was with my friends, though, so we usually had a good time.  We didn’t usually wear plumes in our hats (only on special occasions), but we did rock full polyester jump suits with cropped jackets.  Let me tell you why polyester is the worst fabric to march in: when it’s cold outside, it doesn’t keep you warm, but when it’s hot outside, it does nothing to keep you cool.  My worst marching band experience was this parade we did in Vancouver, B.C., where I swear we marched through every season.  It was raining when we started, then haling, and then so hot that we were dying under the ponchos we were wearing to keep our polyester outfits dry.  Even though I don’t miss my own marching band experience, I still love watching marching bands.  It’s the one reason I regret never going to a big college.

I do not!  I’m not sure why people think I’d keep him secret anyway.  Unless he was an Edward Cullen-type, I guess.  But, I think Edward would annoy me with his moodiness.  If I could conjure him up, this secret boyfriend would certainly be adorable (people who read my blog will know what I mean by that).  And nice.  I like nice people.

Ulta!  That store is mood altering for me.  I used to love just walking through the aisles, looking at all the pretty things.  I haven’t been in months, but I think that Ulta and I will rekindle our relationship when I’m no longer in debt.

Vlogging is something I never thought I would do.  Before I got into blogging, I was a big fan of Ze Frank and YouTube vloggers, but as much as I was tempted, I just couldn’t imagine getting in front of a camera myself.  One night I finally decided to give it a try and it was so much fun that I kept going.  Vlogging feels very different from writing to me.  I don’t think of myself as a good speaker and with my lack of video editing skills,  I can’t control the final product as closely as I can in writing.  It’s a surprise to me to hear what comes out of my mouth.  But, I like it for that reason too.  It’s thrilling.  I can’t say I like one better than the other, but while I am never at a loss for what to write about, I have a really hard time thinking of things to vlog about.

Definitely my health.  The rest of my dreams I’m already chasing down, but there are a lot of people in my life affected by disease and I hate the way it prevents them from doing the things they want to do.

I would just like to say how much I appreciate 20sb and all the people who keep it running.  I’ve been a 20sb member for almost as long as I’ve been blogging, so it has always been a part of the experience for me.  Almost all of my relationship with bloggers started at 20sb, so this community has a great deal to do with my love for blogging.